"Should"

*Listening to Iridescent after so long*
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
Build up hope and failure is all you've know
Remember all the sadness and frustration
Let it go
Let it go
*Love that music and that voice*

Remember how it all was when we were small? How good children do their homework and are tidy and put their things in place and eat all their vegetables?
Well, this kind of conditioning follows us into adulthood in the form of the word 'should'. Humans have come up with complex behavioural rules and parameters to achieve ends. Were your results good? You 'should' definitely take Science. You make good music or make good drawings? Well, you 'should' stop fooling around and focus on your career. You are friends. You 'should' behave in a particular behaviour. You 'should' be loud. You 'should' be fast. You 'should' be smart to get ahead in life. Is this your subject? You 'should' pursue it at least for two more years. You 'should; be composed, dignified and elegant. You 'should' be a lady. You 'should' know better. You 'should' respect her because she is elder to you. You 'should' be virtuous.
Then its other variation 'should not' creeps in. You 'should not' shout. You 'should not' talk about others.You 'should not' wear black for marriages. You 'should not' be an open book, shouldn't show what you feel. You 'should not' bow down, give in. You 'should not' waste time.
This list is random but you get the gist, right? All these restrictions we are conditioned with and some we impose on ourselves. All it does is bind us down. If there is a perfect benchmark you try to go up to, it is good unless you push yourself to the point where you just stumble, you can't jump those hurdles no more. Sure, there should be some basic things you try to be, The most important in this case would be identification. What are just fluff things you see and want to be and what you really really want to see yourself be. Don't make a long demanding list. Because change always doesn't mean an improvment. Even more important is to relax while it happens. Let yourself loose. Stop stiffening up. Because you learn a little everyday. Everyday. :)

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