Monday, March 30, 2015

Good Things That Happen Unexpectedly! :D

You know I am really excited about this when you realize I dragged my lazy ass off my bed and switched on the light and took out my laptop from the cupboard just to type this out.
I truly do believe in goodness and how it is goodness that runs the world. But I always get so surprised when good things happen to me. Like I don't know if anyone else feels the same but its just so surprising!

Let's start with 26th of March, my friend Reshmi daintily invites me over to her place saying let's catch up over lunch by saying how its been a long time since we met and all. So, I wear a pretty dress and go and I see so many balloons and I go whaatt? And it still takes me 2 minutes to realize that I have been tricked into my surprise birthday party. I see the beautiful Aanchal trademarked card I always wanted, the tasty Shristi cake (which just has to be the prettiest personalized cake I have ever received), a new much-needed pair of shoes so that I stop wearing slippers everywhere :P and the perfect food. I even got a Happy Birthday Khush-boobs balloon which floated around my room for a day or two (I really don't know where it is now - probably burst!). But the point is it was my first surprise party ever. And it was perfection. Tuition got cancelled and we played monopoly. I lost grandly. I couldn't really express it properly perhaps but I think the mere thought that I should go hug them should be enough for them to know what it meant to me. And just right now, when I was down, there Shristi was, cheering me up without even knowing what was troubling me when she herself was so upset now. As a rule, I am a listener not a talker with other people, and yet to glean so much about me in such a short time. Just.. Let it suffice to say I didn't think it was possible. There is so much hidden context and between the lines stuff to what I am saying (all in a good sense, of course) but I just can't actually spit, nay spell, it out. Also, there will be nothing left to write in their yearbooks. I never imagined after college, you know, how it would be like. And maybe, I don't want to.

Second is now. I have been actually been mentally weirded out since yesterday. And honestly, yesterday and today morning I hated phones. I wanted mine to disappear suddenly. This time, I decided not to ask for help. I went out to the balcony. The songs stopped, so did my peace of mind. I came in and scribbled and doodled and drew and I mindlessly wrote down many, many honest things. But I had to buckle and text for help or my eyes would have been the size of watermelons tomorrow. I was expecting to be dismissed from all quarters you know, because I have been told time and again how my fears are unfounded. Like honestly, trivialties like not being up there on someone's list could bother me at times. So, you know! Again, surprisingly, I wasn't shooed or shut up. All I needed to hear were those 2-3 lines. Trust me, I felt like a baby going to sleep in her crib by shutting out everything else. I do still worry. But because of this today, there is this ghost of a belief that my worries are very untrue. So thank you best people, if both of you know who you are! ;D

So, today I learnt two new things -
1) Movies are wrong. I was Rockstar level sad but nothing good, nothing new came out of me today. So sadness, not so inspirational always. Goodness wins too! :D
2) So anyone who is having a bad day and reading this, this is for you! Good things will come your way if you are open to them, if you don't hide. In all honesty, you deserve them. :)

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Sunday Evening.

Today is a Sunday evening. And I have no plans.
Its with great difficulty that I get off-days. There actually is a lot of stuff to get done usually but this week I took a lot of self-permitted holidays.
I should be chilling. Putting my feet up. Maybe paint my nails. Organize. Clean.
And all I can really think of is how I wish I could turn back time - to my early days here. We used to go out so often I actually worried about finding the time to study, even right before exams.
I haven't stopped going out. I am out even more late at nights.
Still! Sundays always had plans attached to them. About going places. I remember getting angry once about waking up early on the only free day I had in my first year (even my Thursdays were booked!). But it doesn't matter anymore. Also, Sunday mornings = tuitions. :P
I used to smirk at the idea of other peoples' good times. Even that doesn't matter anymore!
I am my own hero. I go out alone if need be. I do.
Its just.. exhausting today.
Miss my old life so much.
Miss those people the most.
Miss laughing so much.
Miss feeling offended.
Miss being scolded.
Miss the intellectual discussions.
Miss being late.
Miss giving reasons for being late.
Miss having places to discover.
Miss sitting outside.
Miss sharing tasty food.
Miss being a spectator to all the hitting and throwing stones and ringing of bells.
Miss just talking in general.
Miss being a part of something.
Didn't realize what it was. Thought it was a way of life. If it is so, its difficult to practice now.
My other friend leaves me in about two months. She accuses me of not missing her in the future. I think she should just pack her bags and go away then. :/
We will see what has to be done.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

My Morning Misery Madness Malady

Lol. no. I couldn't think of more M words to make it longer.
The following post is about why I am late every single day. It was no good making a list of reasons or something because oh well, you will see..

*sets alarm for 6:50 the previous night all the while dancing mentally because this time around I will get an adequate amount of sleep*
Morning - wake up at 6:10, 6:15, 6:26, 6:42. Get super frustrated. Shut off the alarm,
Sit up straight and think today I've got time - maybe I should do my laundry today.
Now that I have time, let me take my phone today in the potty. *What!? That girl is totally stalking me!*
Collecting clothes. What should I wear? What should I wear? Sees two things - A the normal daily wear, the safe option and B is something new. Maybe I should shower first and then decide.
Enters bathroom.
Sees a lizard poo poo. Ugh, I should maybe pour water all over the floor to clean it first. And wash the mug. And the bucket. And the stool. And the tub. And while washing these, the floor must have become dirty again, so let me wash all over again too.
Let me change the song too. Such a non-showery dud song.
Ooh, I took too many clothes to wash. I will be late if I actually wash all of these. Let me select just a few. Which ones? Maybe just the essentials.
Hot water or cold? Too hot. Too cold. Where has all the balance gone from the world? I wonder what's sadder - people feeling sad or people having no one to share their grief with?
I got a new face wash. Let me use that one. But its a lemon one! For oily skin. But its lemon. Smells SO good. I will put on a little bit of moisturizer later. Hah! The packet says no soap. How does it lather? Wait a minute! Are the lemon  and the neem face wash the same? Should check out the ingredients one day, Losers deceiving people. Its probably not the same though.
My feet are so dirty. I hate those black slippers. Transferring all that blackness from their sole to my feet.
Oh my God! I totally love that song. Can't hear it over the tap. Let me slow down the stream of water.
I didn't scrub properly yesterday. I really should do it today. Such a luxury to do all this. Thank God I was up early. Hey! Where is the loofah I had bought 4 months back? Totally need to use it.
*wipe myself dry*
Nooo! Please let this song be over.
Dry my clothes. Hang them. Clip them. Return the tub to the washroom.
*look at A and then B. happens multiple times*
Finally, almost always, settle on A. Oh ya, every single time.
Why am I going to college again? I  am so sleepy its not even funny. That phrase - its not even funny - I have picked it up from college. I have picked so much up from college - chaap, "be cool", stud, V-sign. Wonder what different I would have learnt if I had gone to my sister's college instead.
Wow, I could totally blog about this. Would it be funny? Totally need a to-do list I can actually follow. Oh wait, that's what I will do in the Macro class. What should I do with my future? Can't seem to settle on anything. Too stressful to even think about it right now. Let me focus on studying daily instead. *lol, not happening.*
Hmm, I do have five minutes to drink a glass of milk. I can make it if I hurry. Milk is too hot, too hot. Let it cool in a wide brimmed plate. Can't pour it back into the glass. Spill milk everywhere. Clean it up.
Run to the metro. Think all the time about how I will totally time myself tomorrow. NEED to hurry. Skip bag checking. Just miss my train.
Darn the stupid milk. Always making me late.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

#DreamDiary

I only start this because I keep having these weird apocalyptic dreams. I have lost count really. I actually did have a dream diary when I was younger. If only I could decipher dreams! It would be so cool.

So, today I dreamt about a couple I knew that had broken up. Not that its any of my concern because well, all of us are not really friends. We don't even really talk. Let's call the boy B and the girl G. The boy was living in my paying guest (PG) accommodation. We had been told not to enter there ever. I asked my sister if I could please go and make things okay. I especially didn't like him being so sad. My sister said she would handle it and "it too shall pass". I went ahead anyway. And the guy was so mad at me and called me things. He was really sad. I made him a little bit okay. And mind you, I have not even met this guy much in real life. Once, I think. Then I went to G. She was looking like a model in a very pretty gown. She hugged me. And I was scared that B would see me and think I was not in his party. In reality all I wanted was for them to sort out their differences but they could not even decide upon a room to civilly talk in. Then I don't know how but our PG flat had turned to a bungalow. And our landlady aunty, without our permission, was transporting it through a copter right atop the Himalayas. Like we could literally see snow by peeking out of the window. It turned out aunty had taken us there for a Shivratri puja. All of us girls bitched that we didn't want to go and were being forced to perform the ceremony. I distinctly remember there was a calf we were supposed to worship. Everyone was given those red Jai Mata Di 'chunnaris'. Then somehow I went next door somewhere to borrow something. Turned out it was my class five teacher Tr. Shina's home.☺I asked her whether she wouldn't hug me. And Teacher hugged me so, so tight. I felt and even said so much warmth ☺She misheard and thought I was calling the weather warm and I had to clarify :P
Then comes the fun part. The sky started getting pink and thick. Thick and very dense.Eventually all the pink portion of the sky fell down on the Earth. And since we were on top of a mountain, it would affect us the fastest. But what would affect us the fastest? Yes, if you are thinking it was apocalyptic stuff, you are right. The pink Apocalypse stuff grew tentacles. It would soon end the world. We went to help one old man nearby. But then we noticed the advanced stages of the tentacley - a small plant had already grown on his foot. That's when we realized he was a goner.
That is all I remember. *phew*