Tuesday, February 28, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day27

Blogs you love.

Hmm, I don't read any except the occasional craft blog! But yes trying to change it! Excited to read new stuff. :)

Monday, February 27, 2017

Sunday, February 26, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day25

Letter to your 16 year old self.

This question would have been more suitable if I had been like 40-50. What about the 16 year olds that take this challenge, huh? Anyway let's get on with it.

Dear 16 year old Khushboo Velani,

You've got a dozen shitty pet names by now!
Hi! I have so much to tell you!
First off stop worrying. It's been 5 years and nothing has worked out yet either. Your worry is futile. It didn't get you anywhere.
Instead read more and more like you used to when you were younger. It will really open your mind. It also makes you stop worrying. And, well, neglect real life.
Things you never foresaw are going to happen. Like with dad. But you'll survive. You'll survive everything and grow stronger every single day.
You are going to feel like giving up a million times. Things are going to go way, way, way downhill but it'll be okay. You'll fight it off because you will be trying so very hard. Learn to be proud of it.
And be gentle about it. It's all a-okay! 
Stop worrying about college too! Admist all this suckiness, your college friends will have a big hand in getting you through shit. They're some of the nicest people you meet. First days are always horrible. Get used to that fact. Last days will be even more horrible. Get used to that too.
Learn that you won't always get your way. You will just have to let go. You will still have many of the same people in your life, but your relationship with them will mature significantly.
You think you're wise but you haven't yet scratched the surface. As you go out, you'll meet a lot of grey and the grey will make you question everything you knew to 'be true'.
You'll learn slowly that this world is too big for stereotypes. No persons fit into a box. Take your time with them. Figure them out. You'll enjoy it.
Soon you'll realize you love Economics but after graduating in it you will not love it as much. Just a small indicator of so much change to come.
You have to learn to just let people be sometimes. Even they are going to change and the way you perceive them is also going to change. 
Sometimes you will have to live with not knowing the reasons. And this is not a growing up thing. It's a life long thing. Start growing comfortable with it.
Oh, oh, adulting sounds scarier than it actually is. Don't get me wrong all this responsibility is scary but becoming your own person is the best thing ever. I know you hate growing up, but you will anyway. Stop stressing out about it as well!
Similarly there will be some things which will make you want to say no. I cannot emphasize this enough but - START SAYING YES. MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF. PLEASE!
Haha, five years on, you'll have faced some of your major fears and acted on some of your dreams. 
You'll realize how trivial some things are.. so trivial you probably won't remember them after a point. You still need to remember not to fret about it though.
You'll learn your lessons.
You'll have been writing for a long time!
You'll meet Sister Flavian a lot too!
And oh, you'll finally shift after 5 years. I know they started talking about it then itself, but it's going to take a lot of time to come to action.
All in all, it's a good life.
Always remember - stop stressing and say yes. 

I will see you in a while!


Saturday, February 25, 2017

Guest Post(s) Day! (#day24)

Get a guest to write a post.
Boo you prompts. I will get multiple people to write posts. Here they are in order of submission! :D
Big shout out to these guys. :)

"I used to be a happy kid, but probably fused a wire in the laughter board while growing up, then I realised, the problem wasn't just mine, infact the whole world needed a fix. Laughter did not come that easy to everyone who grew up, I wasn't the only one suffering, people in general had a hard time having a good heart laugh. So here's to all those moments when we laughed so hard that our stomach hurt, to the moments when we laughed until we cried, because the pleasure we get from a good heart laugh is a wonderful thing and these moments are precisely what makes life worth living."
- Tanya Anand

So Must I

I peep out of my window,
And look at the night sky, strewn with glitter,
A million stars, twinkling with childlike wonder,
As if to seek a million answers and then a couple more,
And do so unabated.
I realise, so must I.

I look out of my window and see the sun; meek at first,
Rising and shining with all its might,
And so it does,
And so must I.

I look out of my window, to see the mighty mountains,
Hail, rain or sunshine,
Standing tall in the face of all odds,
So must I.
So must I.

- Aanchal Arora

"When I opened to the last page of a book in my proximity so that I could tear a piece off to clean some stain, I found a little insignificant something scribbled by a certain someone who went from an almost friend to a bitter enemy to a forgettable being. But my hands hesitated to ravish a memory which was but significant and which immortalized a person who held no value anymore. And I wondered why.
I have faded bills saved from unpopular cafes, and torn tags from clothes grown out of. My phone gallery is 40% blurred and almost pictures. Almost because my face was probably a degree away from the best angle possible. I have screenshots saved of conversations of and about people who are blocked now and put under the to-forget list.
Even though..
I continue to explore newer restaurants with my constants, have a content wardrobe and new clothes a click away. Oh wait, scratch that! Content wardrobe is an oxymoron.
And, touchwood, I keep meeting almosts who come as a present, packed with hope, who smell of freshness and promise restoration. Today an almost, tomorrow a constant? Hmm, maybe :)))
But I'm still afraid to let go. To let go of memories. Memories which are insignificant, which don't tell the whole story, which are reminders of the ugly parts; which are damaging in nature. About things lost, of times been and forgotten, of people who betrayed, of roommates who didn't bother to turn off the fan when I was sick, of random people who truly didn't mean anything.
Possibly detrimental and mostly useless stuff.

But I'm afraid to let go. And I wonder why?"

- Apurva Ramani

Friday, February 24, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day23

The joys of blogging.

Hmmm, numerous at the expense of the people who actually read this shit. XD
I have a whopping 8 legit followers now. :P
Well mostly the fact that I can write whatever I want to, whenever I choose to. It's public yet it's private. I mean I don't hold illusions that I can be super blunt here but it's nice and comfortable.
Blogging just feels like my thing. You get to write and that too without anyone breathing down your neck commanding you what to write on.
You can cuss, share your obsessions and be happy and sad and give yourself important life lessons and maybe even reach out sometimes. This whole thing was made for reaching out tbh. A lot happened since. My first post is somewhere way back in 2014!
And just as an added happiness thing, it always feels nice when people actually read it. To cross viewcounts and adding countries of the viewers list shouldn't make me happy but it does! It does! And just sometimes someone comes up and says something about how relatable it was or how nice it was and the world seems a better place.
It also makes good conversation sometimes.. and makes me slight more interesting. :P
Haha kidding, kidding.

Have a nice day peeps! :D

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Stars, Songs and Blogging Challenge (#day22)

Today the stars are twinkling way too much. A certain small star is twinkling like a disco light. And I can almost spot the Orion but can't connect the bow part somehow. The triangle part I got. They are too dim too today.

All seems peaceful.

Listening to this song - Wonderful World the Louis Armstrong one.


I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, and the dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands, saying "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you."

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.

Such optimism! And so beautiful and he looks so happy singing it that you'll feel at peace too and bad days don't matter. He is just so so so happy!

Also Lag Jaa Gale! Amazing. <3 amazing amazing!
Makes you sad and nostalgic and thoughtful.

Today is a good song day in general.

And as for the challenge I have to review a movie/book.
What should I review? I am not going to do this properly anyway.
Last movie was La La Land. Actually Passengers. But that one was stupid. La La Land was good. You feel a little sad for Ryan Gosling though. The songs are good, good. City of stars everyone knows. Duhhh.
Last book was short stories by Chekhov. It was nice in some places but it felt a little drawn out and too descriptive for me. But some really cute stories too! :))

Hehe. Good night everybody! :)

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day21

How you fight fear/stress/anxiety.

Many things.
Meditate. Sleep. Talk. Write. Read. Draw. Talk some more. It's more or less gone after that!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Story Without Words (#day19)

Here comes Khushboo again with her bad drawings and with no explanations this time. Whoopee.

Except also it's not really a story. It's a narrative. Non linear narrative? Description? No one cares? Auzstfegssghbg. It's done. :D

Monday, February 20, 2017

#28daybloggingchallenge #day19-20

A story without words.
I already have an idea for that. Promise tomorrow. I am dead right now.

Describe Home.
Done it a 1000 times over on here. In short where you can do potty in peace.

Now I need sleep. Bye.

The People Diaries - 5! :D

The person prefers to be known as anonymous!@

I don't know how we became friends. I mean I know how we became friends technically but I am just trying to show here how easy he makes it to trust him. He is one of the most chilled out people on the face of this universe and has always some new stuff working in his mind. He is full of new ideas and philosophies that he sometimes forgets himself on asking again. But if he calls you your own, you're lucky because he never hesitates to help you and to make life easier for you. He has his priorities clear in his mind - he will only do what his heart dictates - and sometimes talking to him can make your mind calm too, like still water and then you can see your own thinking being reflected in your conversation. He has varied interests and some kind of a spooky prediction thing going on for him too. Like magic.

3 words to describe yourself.

Elaborate. Specially on water.
Waves inside me. Sometimes wild, sometimes smooth, sometimes whirlpool which drags people around me in. I'm the water which can get what it wants. I enter a place and take all I want with me. If I want to turn golden, I can. If I want to become sweet, I can. I can do all I want. I can win all I want. I'm an ocean by myself. I have an ocean inside me. I'm passionate. I'm water.

This sounds so confident!
I'm pretty confident. I can get if really want anything. Things happen if I want them to

What is the source of all this strength?
Not that I know of any. Maybe faith. Faith in God, faith in myself, destiny, lucky.. blah blah blah. I think it's human nature. If wants anything, they will get it. Wo SRK wala dialogue.. puri kayanaat thing. [Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho, toh puri kaayanat usse tumsse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai]

So it just comes naturally to you or you've cultivated this? This way of thinking?
What way of thinking? I didn't get you there.

This confident thinking that everyone gets what they want.. that I will get what I want. It doesn't come to everybody. So did it come naturally to you or you cultivated it that way?
My life had a few downs.. and a few ups too.. it's not like everything was awesome.
But it was never that a problem didn't end. It always ends. Maybe this small positive attitude made me so. Maybe coz I see this world to be beautiful. My home is beautiful. My school is. My taxi wala is. The sky is. I have faith in almost everything and everyone. It makes me believe that sab achcha hoga. And I have never wished bad for anyone. So here I am, wishing good for everyone, and getting good always.
P. S. I don't think any child around me prays for happiness of the whole world each and everytime he prays. I do it Bachpan se.
That's thoda positivity in me.

What made you realize that you were growing up?
Made you? I'm still growing.

Umm okay.. first grown up realization?
I don't think I understand this question. Can you answer it from your perspective so that I'm able to understand

Like..I realized that I was growing up when I started understanding the nature of relations. And also that so many things are temporary.

So didn't you have your moments?
My dadi and mom and everyone says I was born mature. Like I was never a kid. And no bachpana and no Masti and no gandi aadat. If my shirt is tucked in my pants early in the morning, it won't be out till night.
But yaa, I grew up. Maybe when I entered basketball and started doing good in it. Confidence aaya to talk to everyone and go out. Then High school became easier. Uske pehle I wasn't good in anything. So yaa. Bahut kuch aise hota Raha n I have been growing.

Okay :)

What do you want your story to say?
I don't have a story yet. I will have one soon!

What's the one thing you wished people knew about you?
That I am anti social. I can live alone. I don't give a fuck to this world.

Your biggest strength?
1. I know what people want and I'm able to give it to them. So a people's person.
2. My parents.

What are some of the things on your bucket list?

Whatever you have in your mind
Buy a hill. Build a fort on it. With narrow stairs and big basements and hiddens rooms and heavy wooden doors. Aive bas.

And continuing.. what according to you makes a happy life?
Inner satisfaction

What gives you satisfaction?
Satisfaction is not a thing for me. It is an attitude. A balanced satisfaction towards life. It has developed looking at my dad. Satisfied with what he has, not running behind extra money or incentives. He lives his life without any tension even when we are short of anything. Hard work se sab theek ho jaata hai. Tension se kuch nai hota. Patience and satisfaction keeps one happy.

And also, things/emotions you couldn't dream of living without
Aisa kuch nai hai jisse I couldn't dream to live.

What drives you?
I'm not driven at all.

Nothing motivates you or drives you? Nothing inspires!?
Nai. Nope.

Ye toh pehli baar sunne

So what do you fear?
Many things:
Old age
Aur bhi cheezein hongi :P

Most people ka main driver fear hi hota hai.. fear of not living up to your potential and stuff.
Ye sab bakwaas nai hai mere life mein!

[A/N - This ended a little abruptly but 'I am not driven at all' is one of the best answers I have received till date.]

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Random Shit #7152537

The photos are thoda crappy because bad camera plus what you see with your eyes can never be recreated really. But look at the sun! That bright orange dot (which has come out more like pale yellow). When you look at it it's so hard to believe that if you were close to it.. well you just couldn't exist close to it. It's hard to believe that it's surface is so angry and boiling. It's hard to believe it has some super strong amazing rays that disrupt life on Earth sometimes and could fry us potentially. We are under protection from it and yet on a pleasant evening you don't really believe it has any kind of power. #hiddenfascinatingthings
And imagine coupling the sun with a rainbow coloured sky! It just seems ridiculous.
This universe is a pretty amazing place and we will all die, say goodbye to everything. But I don't think it is stupid to look for permanent stuff in a temporary life. Why would you not? Certain kinds of permanence bring happiness. And yes I realize here that no person or thing is truly permanent but your relationship to it/him/her could be! Although how do you guarantee permanence? It would be like breaking an unbreakable vow thing. Am I sounding mad? But we're all mad here.
Such an ideal way to spend a life it would be. To see pretty things. To inhale deeply and not be able to speak.

Uncertainties. How much time we spend thinking about them. We obsess about them. There have been books and movies on how you can turn uncertainties to your favour just by obsessing about them. Has it worked? It worked just about half the time for me but you could never surely attribute it to my obsession. It could have happened anyway..

Days have started becoming longer again. I sit wishing for miracles. There should be lazy songs. And restless songs. I mean songs for those two moods. Yes I know there is a Bruno Mars one.

Oh so yesterday I took a huge fat walk. Usually I am with someone, yesterday I was alone. And you know how there are dark zones mommies are afraid of for their daughters? Nothing happened there. On the brightly lit main road this guy stopped me saying madam, madam. I turned around and there he was a totally random stranger asking me to sit behind him on a scooty offering to drop me. I walked away and there he came by after sometime again. Oh I know, such a typical feminist rant. But these things didn't happen in my city before. I felt like even the stares have increased manifold. But what is the point of blogging about it when I didn't shout at him? It reminded me of Kolkata- how I didn't shout at the weird abusive(ish) taxi driver or the stalker guy who kept smiling at me or the millions of guys who've sung and objectified me and asked me if I was a model. Or the guy in Mumbai whose help to zip up my bag I was foolish enough to take because then he wanted me to talk to him or the uncle at the temple. And the first guy who ever touched me (or at least the first I remember) without my consent and I was so afraid to say anything because I was so young but Didi had already seen it. Each and every one of them. There was this article I read the other day, about how some guy didn't realize what a huge problem it was until his class was asked how many people had made changes in their decisions or altered their plans even slightly in the last week just out of fear of molestation/abuse etc. The guy then saw how nearly all the girls in the class had had their hands raised. Almost 0 guys (I forget if it's almost 0 or exactly 0). That's the difference. It did strike a chord with me too. I don't think we have reached the stage of blatantly dismissing women empowerment while we still struggle to live our lives as we want to.

Hmm, that might have been a little heavy. Anyway it's a beautiful day. Evening at least. Let this be a Sunday. :)

Oh also on a lighter note -

I have violated like 10 of these. XD

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day18

18/9. Little known facts about you.

I wish I hadn't undertaken this stupid challenge. The questions are annoying and not easy to answer now. :/

I make time tables constantly and never follow them.
I think meditating is cool.
I cannot shout for the life of me; even when there are like stalkers behind me and I am confronting them.
Stationary shops *_*

Beh ho gaya ab.

Friday, February 17, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day17

17. Describe your style.

Why are these questions so damn hard?

My style is lazy meets comfort. Yo.

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day16

16. Five favourites!

I know not many people read and respond to this but I want to list 5 favourites of random things.
So comment below on what 5 things to list my favourites of! :D

Ummm, favourite animal for example - dogs, elephants, dolphins, pandas and penguins.
Favourite chocolate - probably Diary Milk but can't think clearly because I just had sweet things and too much sweet is akjcjekxnsjssjs.
Favourite chocolate in ice creams - Amul

And so on! :)

Thursday, February 16, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #days11-15

Discontinued due to lack of Internet access. Attempts to asnwer it as I would have on those very days. Let's go!

11.What's in your bag?
Umm on 11th the answer would have been another smaller bag inside, handkerchiefs, chappals, some clothes, socks, that's about it I guess. Umm yaaa.

12.A favourite quote
There are many. I am just copying down some that come to me aise hi.

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."

"Indecision is still a decision."
And of course millions of song lyrics. That were tailored just for me. Lolol.

13. Happy Valentine's Day
Oh shut up. But mom did get us a tub of ice cream and Oreo Silk. Never fitting into clothes ever. :')

14. A big dream
Nai hai Bhai big dream. But to be able to buy certain things for certain people. Yes! And write actually well. More like comic really well. And read more.

15. A hard lesson learnt
Nah. Not really. Don't get too attached easily or people get creepy on you? People take advantage of you if you let them? Leave Facebook? None of these are hard lessons. I am a champion naa. Already smart.

It's cold outsideeee. Wait. Terrace does count as outside, right?
For random advice - catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away. Then teach me how to do the same. Haha.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Camp Things :)

Hi, I just got back yesterday from the whole Tumung-Dimna-Dalma thing and it was amazing. :D
I am still in the camp mode and I figured it's better to write about it now then later when my overthinking wrecks the whole thing (I can hear the approach of a tiny voice saying that I was just lucky) or time erases memories.
We had this feedback thing at the end of everyday where we would discuss things like strengths and weaknesses and improvement plans. It was a very good exercise - looking back at what you've learnt.
This post seemed to me something like that too. I learnt that sometimes you have to go against your body's instincts - to not buckle your knees when it seems safe and to not turn around when you need to see things, to let go, to enter the deep side of water bodies when you can't swim - the reward is so enjoyable. I guess you just need to say yes sometimes in life even when every instinct screams no because it could lead to wonderful things. Like the fact that I was so nervous to go this camp with this big group where almost every one knew at least one other person. I am glad I didn't say no.
I learnt it is okay to suck at things if you're enjoying them and you're learning something. The last day I think I held up probably 60 people behind me because I was so very slow climbing up this sort of mountain thing. I could see that it came so easily to other people. And I was panting and huffing and asking for "two minutes rest" every half minute. Hahaha. People started shouting from far down to hurry and tried to overtake me even and my mostly inaudible shut ups didn't work. I couldn't talk and kept charading answers and reactions. But when I finally got there it felt just as happy as none of this had happened.  To do something always wins over kich kich.
And obviously I learnt how important people are. I have known this for forever because I keep saying it but it is also important to assume that they are not bad in general. Even while I was failing and flailing there were still people who encouraged me and they still told me that I did good. Instructors even. Mostly with a smile they had just good things to say. Motivation actually works. It's something I didn't believe in but it actually does work. And teams stick. Even when they fail, it's nice to just stick together. Apparently no one points fingers too. I didn't see it in any of the 4 days. You hear things about how to improve but no fingers.
It's important to not assume things because you just ruin your own chances with that; this stands not only for being mentally discouraged before even starting to do things but also with things like making friends. One exception, like I said before, to this could be assuming that people are good. That they are not going to keep laughing at you while you continue sucking. And even if they laugh, it doesn't last and you learn to laugh along with all of them too.
So you can go without knowing anyone and come back with a friend or two or three or four or I don't know exactly how many.
Most importantly, you can come back to your boring old life where you are just two centimetres away from killing yourself but nobody, nobody at all can take away from the experiences you've had. You always keep it inside with the other things you've managed to collect during the camp to appease your hoarding instincts. And also secretly wish for it to be a start of something new.

This is my group 2. This is the only picture I found where we all were clearly visible.
I will start from the extreme end. That is our instructor at the end of the raft. Mahendra Sir (I hope I spelt it right). Now any other person would have shouted at me and called me 'buzdil' (lolololol, a small inside joke) but he didn't and I slowed him down so often but he was always so kind and gentle about it. So soft spoken, it's amazing really. :O I sort of lied to him once and I feel bad about it but it's okay.
The guy immediately in front of him with the plastic is Ganesh. And he sings so so so well.  The kind of singer I sometimes pretend being or write about wanting to be. And so patient and encouraging! Just nice person things. And we relate to Deepika on a personal level. Haha.
The guy in front taking the picture in yellow is Atul. Again, so friendly. And always smiling. And joking. He loaned me money but wanted 10 cakes as interest from my neighbor's mom but I think it's tough to make that happen. XD
These two were pretty much stuck with me 24 hours x 4 days. Them and their group. Them and their fun potty stories. I put responsibility on all of them to make sure I don't drift away with the river. I don't know what that was really about since I had a life jacket but well. Also they have this strange obsession with a song about gareeb Sudama going to meet Krishna.
Behind him on the left side is Ajit. He loaned me his shades for pictures voluntarily. And also took pictures voluntarily. Which means I should have a single picture somewhere. Hmm. O.o
Behind him is Pyare Puran. Gentle, soft spoken.
On the right side in blue is Arnab Sir. (I don't know about adding ji and sirs. I mean all of them were elder to me). He had come down all the way from Nagpur because of his mountaineering interests. Always had tips for everything, this man. Makes good khichdi and chokha.
Next is me in pink. I am awesome. Thanks.
Behind me is Ajay. He got his marriage fixed while at camp! Haha. It was a red moon day and we were camping and cooking by the river side when it happened. #justrandomthings
And all of them except sir have teased me so very much. But that's the story of my life. Being teased. Meh.
I hope all of them do really well and stay very happy. I don't know what happens next.

That's about it, I guess? Long post!
I have to go now anyway. So hungs. Kbye.

Friday, February 10, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day10

Travel story.

Maybe I should write about this one. Where I travel alone with a bunch of Tata employees. With it being the most physically intensive trip I might have undertaken. It's cool though. Day one and I am already enjoying. Did an obstacle course and flying fox and 2-3 group games. It's all chill. :D

Thursday, February 9, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day9

10. What are you learning this season?

Well starting tomorrow fancy stuff like making rafts and rappelling and other mountain stuff and tent pitching and rock climbing and orienteering and flying fox something. Well you get the gist. :D haha yay :D

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day8

8. A day in the life.

Depends on what part of life you ask, again.
Right now my life is blah. A day is blah. I do things but meh.
In college it was class, tuition, chilling, chilling with Apurva, chilling with tuition people.
Meditation would be a new addition.
I occasionally draw, write, craft, make comics and read.
That's about it! :D

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day7

8. Music that moves you.

Off the top of my head, most things by Coldplay and old stuff by Linkin Park. 2-3 old songs by Eminem. The Fight Song. The Nights and even Dare You in the new-ish music.

Actually it also depends. If I start thinking of back stories to go with the songs, so many would me. There was this Guetta song. The guy dies trying to save the girl by going back in time. People dying in 3-4 minute music videos is bad. :P
Oh ya, remembered the song - Just one last time.

Sometimes some lyrics take me back. Or make me imagine scenarios where I could potentially relate to them. Or the music is amaze. Many times such things "move" me to the point of obsession after which I start to bore of them. But I could also potentially return to them. The possibilities are endless. This is a very vague question and I cannot answer it adequately enough.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day6

7. A public encouragement.

This is a very ambiguous prompt. Am I supposed to talk about a public encouragement I received or give one?
My whole blog stands as an example of giving public encouragement.

Umm and receiving it would probably be the class 5 Christmas show we were made to perform on stage. It was about all Christmassy things. It was nice. :))

Monday, February 6, 2017

My Home. For forever and for always! :')

And the lights went down. 
This, my room, where we wrote a million things on the wall. My wall requires a complete different post. It's.. well, colourful. Anyway this room was where we turned into legit adults. Had our computer here. "Illegal" computer times. Haha.

Pretty pretty gate. You could see half the road standing near the door. And play dhobi dhobi and pahad paani agni jal on the steps outside. Or gossip on the platform. And draw rangoli on it. And race Everytime so that you wouldn't be the last one in and hence the person to close the gates.

Shoe cupboard which we (Meenal and me) never used because kicking shoes outside was so much easier. They tried patching it up last Diwali.

TV and landline room and our bedroom till kaka moved out on the right and mummy daddy room on the left. And on that window the calender from which you had to tear a page everyday. Oh and the dining table whose 2 chairs you couldn't use because they were stuck to the wall. Also the right room door where we used to swing by being placed in a chunni tied to the door. We also played some shitty game with those chunnis.

Kitchen and the mattress cupboard where we loved sneaking in and making noise and pretending shit. We started making petrol in the kitchen hi.

Store room was magic. It had like a gazillion things alwayss. The coolest room the in the summers. Our most antique stuff existed there. I have never prayed to that God till date. :P

Oh and the amazing amazing backyard where all the phone conversations happened as we grew up. Where apparently the Luna was kept when we were small/didn't exist. Those pipes there was how you got to the chhat. Perfect for star gazing this place and just being. :'))

Emptying a house empties you only.

#28daysofblogging #day5

Exchanging question 6 for 5 because 5 requires thinking!

6. Make up must haves?

For me? Kajal, gloss, maybe liner?

Saturday, February 4, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day4

4. Explain your blog name.

Well thank God for an easy question today because I am SO tired today! Helped shift practically everything from my place. My house is stripped of everything. Bye bye house.

Okay so my blog name because I would be writing really simple things and like there it all was. Also because I had been thinking about it for a long time before I made it happen.

Oh and for the URL name. Uhh I don't know. Possibly because I think a lot and this is all a product of my mind. A lot of musing? I don't know really why I chose this name. It's kind of cheesy. Haha!

Friday, February 3, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day3

3. Something that scares you.

This is going to be like a really long list if I actually count out everything.
But there is the usual like ghosts and getting raped.
There is the not living to your potential.
Never finding your it.
Giving up.
Not having enough to satisfy my wants and that of my family. It's a tough spot to be in even you've already pre promised gifts to people. Haha.
Becoming boring and routine.
Not having enough time to do things I enjoy.
Being forgotten. Imagine if you woke up one day and no one remembered you!! :O

But most importantly, letting fear stop me from doing what I want to. That's the scariest of all.

The Mountain Man.

Mountain Man could be happy for only like two seconds.
Don't be the mountain man.

PS - Sorry for the poor quality. Have to do something about it!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day2

2. What fires you up?

Today I am the opposite of fired up but let us try to explain this anyway.

Great music.
Good TedTalks.
Encouraging conversations.
Wrong things happening fire me up too (throwback to the time I got enraged by the whole refugee and proxy wars system). This last happened at the station where they were ill-treating this poor old man.
Routines and other organized stuff.
Love about my writing/comics.
Driving (sort of).
People who say stupid things - like you know when you feel the great urge to beat them up.
Someone taking my food when I am not mentally prepared for it. Specially the last bite.
Somebody criticizing anyone I love.
Stupidity, again.
Well, they do make me fiery. Lol.

That's all I can think of.

Thoughts and keys!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

#28daysbloggingchallenge #day1

1. Your story/testimony.

Hmm, I don't have a very interesting story. Oh wait, the prompt didn't ask for one.

I am twenty two years old. Graduate. Currently at home. Wait let me try and do this better without stumbling.
Okay, I had a pretty decent normal childhood and very luckily I am a 90's kid. In my opinion 90's kids are the best. We've actually played and had fun and then we started with technology as well so we wouldn't be all out of touch and blah with it as we get older. All in right time. We have seen some really ridiculous trends, followed them and then laughed at them. Okay back to story.
Hmm, pretty average "consistent" student. Consistent being my dad's pet word. Always valued consistency over occassional brilliance. Always been quiet and shy. Used to attend religious classes which would have been shitty if not for my sister and my neighbourhood children. The teacher was cute only but we were stuck up and the lessons were dreary.
Oh, there was also drawing class and 2 separate dancing classes (one after the another, if anyone had any doubt). The first dance teacher was amazing. I think back to her often. The second one was stricter. Navratri was a thing for all of us but never liked it much.
My school was the best ever - Carmel Junior College. Some people like my principal Sister Flavian had a major role in the way I was brought up. If I think back, I can't exactly pinpoint what my school did for me but I know I could have been someone completely different if not for the surroundings I was in and the set of people surrounding me.
I was always I think the justice kind of person, usually didn't do wrongs or even cheat much playfully. Too conscienitious. Always friendly though. [Hey if I flip my ponytail, it goes past the tip of my nose. It's growing!]. Close friends changed very often until I came to the 9th standard. Kind of didn't like change. It's a different story now trying to embrace it.
And and what else? Always liked writing. I had all those secret diaries and shit written in code language if the diaries were not lock-able. The code couldn't even be deciphered by me myself a year ot two on. All that brilliance lost forever. I once wrote a poetry to be published in the local paper. Never gave it in. Have half a mind of turning it in now with the age at which it was written in just to satisfy my inner child. Once got a poetry published in a paper though for my class five teacher. Co-authored it with a friend. I like preserving and hoarding things but I think I lost that poetry clipping.
Don't trust deeply easily. Naive enough to believe people are good though. So always been friends with a small group of people at a time. Can't/don't dream. So still don't really know what to do with my life. Write such a lot about me and my life and yet don't want to confide fully ever. Might have prevented me from writing more. [or is this just a lame ploy to get people to think I am mysterious while I am just too lazy and busy multi-tasking and enjoying my music? You decide.]
Then was college which was tuning out and food and friends and growing into myself. Sucked when it ended. But things had started sucking for some time then. I had become way too snappy and irritable to be tolerated tbh. And I was scared for a good reason about college ending though, I can see the differences already. Graduating was being pushed into adulthood.
If we are strictly following the story format, I guess I have got it up to date. Say what. I will make this a February thing. Re-take this challenge and bring these things up to date. Try and see if I have any, any thing left from behind as well.

Did I miss out anything in my story? Comment below to make me fill in the gaps maybe!?

PS - This is my 201st post! :)


So, hi, this is my first earning. I know, I know its miniscule. But I am too damn excited and won't compare today! Yayy. :D

It's the 0.27 figure. Haha.


I met a person today. That person happens to be the perfect embodiment of.. well, society. I have no other words. I want to make it expressly clear that I am not trying to insult anyone. I have never before seen more clearly how the collective mind called the society works and where I stand in relation to it.
Society is educated. Society is (in part, at least) formed of people who have had the same economic background, sometimes even the same moral teachings from the same institutions and yet their mind works in such different ways.
This society judges you first by the way you look. It is not so obvious because well, society is obviously accepting but you feel it in your skin. You feel it when you check the mirror twice to cross check if you have anything out of place and your hair is not all awry. You say your hellos and you are a part of society too, aren't you? So you maintain your cordial relations and exchange pleasantaries and click your pictures. After that the conversation starts - about things that really matter. About what everybody else is doing and where they are at. How much you are respected and how proudly your parents can talk about you depends on how much you've studied, where you're studying, your gap years and how much you're earning and at what floor your house is/how big it is. Respect also ocassionally rests with the brands you adorn. Passion? That sounds something strange if it doesn't guarantee pay. Laughable, literally. Society can accept that you're beautiful when it looks at pictures of you but is equally ready to dismiss your achievements as small and declare you as has-beens. But secretly likes your skin tone and colour. It demeans you because of the way you choose to spend your money but itself madly respects the ownership and hoarding of it. When it itself couldn't possibly have the guts to admit to themselves their passion or interests, let alone pursue them for even a mile. It condones gender equality vocally. But there is something hidden in the way they talk about certain practices - about girls finding it hard to find suitors due to their appearance - you feel uncomfortable because there is something off about it. Sometimes conversations about how a person landed someone out of their league. But no siree, looks don't matter. They are not going to stand the levelling of such accusations against them.
Why I myself was put under the scanner. Sometimes I imagined bad things in general. Of everyone doing very well, landing good jobs. Maybe yes it even seemed like people were doing better with lesser effort (of course not taking away from their smartness or sound decisions). Today, I was subjected to it. Internet has made this easier of course. I sat there surrounded by this world of beautiful, bold, glamarous and talented people. Earning people. Better off people. I was shown the world I should be aspiring for by the know-all society secure and smug in their safe decisions. And yes, they should be safe and secure, because they have worked hard for their place. I was judged today by what I was doing in comparison to illusions I could never hope to defeat; competing with people whose stories, emotions I knew nothing of. I faced my fears and it didn't hurt. It didn't touch me. I saw instead what I would have become had I taken the road straight, straight, straight and never asked. The horror of being the stereotypical society. I say this openly - I am going to be jealous of many things, willing to fight to reach higher on some other ground but not this. This is not for me. And no matter what I do, if I play by their rules, I will be put in a packet - a has been or a weirdo hippie or a 90 percenter sure shot success. I am never going to be my goodness or kindness or intelligence (well, whatever little of the above I have!) should I choose to participate.
I am not here trying to demean anybody or intend to sit on a high horse declaring myself to be the queen of the world. I am just saying that I am relieved that I know how far behind I am on the journey of self realization and more importantly, self betterment. I am happy.

Sorry if I have been too harsh or misunderstood or looked too much into what was said.